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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780134">To The Sky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaioctavia/pseuds/skaioctavia'>skaioctavia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>(여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Heaven, Oh My God, Song: Oh My God ((G)I-DLE)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:08:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780134</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaioctavia/pseuds/skaioctavia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh my God, she took me to the sky.”</p><p>Giving in to a burning fire of desire has its consequences, and sometimes they are cruel. Are you willing to burn yourself? Are you willing to smell the stifling smoke while watching your wings burn? Are you willing to go through all this, just for love?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝</span>
    <span class="s2">If I told you this was only gonna hurt</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">If I warned you that the fire was gonna burn?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Would you walk in?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Would you let me do it first?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Do it all in the name of love.</span>
    <span class="s1">❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- in the name of love, martin garrix &amp; bebe rexha.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The large rusty gates inside and gold on the outside opened, creaking loudly. It wasn’t possible to see what was outside; blind smoke smothered the environment, bringing uncertainty and fear with it. I screamed and screamed, trying to remove the strong hands that held my arms so tightly, dragging myself across the floor towards the gate. The recent scars on my back from burning and removing my wings hurt when they came in contact with the ground. I looked at Soojin standing beside </span>
  <span class="s3">Her</span>
  <span class="s1">, just watching, saying no words. I’m sure her name came out of my lips in a whisper, but it was soon drowned out by my loud sobs and desperate screams. I was going to fall, and there was nothing I could do about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They threw me out and then closed the gate. I feel myself falling, in free fall. I was about to fall into the pool of the unknown and bathe in it, without my own consent - I would just be obliged. Because I am a </span>
  <span class="s3">sinner.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If I could go back on the past, I would change my actions. I would not have drunk from the cup that was tempting me, I would not have yielded to the desire that dominated me. Sin is cruel. It consumes our senses, little by little; first, it gets in your head; then it controls our hands, feet and then the rest of his body. And when you realize, you are already biting the forbidden fruit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But why does it taste like honey? Such a sweet taste, even though it has such drastic consequences. It is beautiful, even if it is the devil himself. I mistook beauty for innocence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How much longer will I keep falling? How much longer will I keep going deeper and deeper into this endless black hole? How much longer will I be sucked into that infinite can of desire?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hugged my body, and with that act I tried to embrace myself. But, my hands luscious with red liquid soiled my body. I let go of the hug, continuing to fall, fall, fall . . .It seemed that my fall has no end. For every time I felt I had reached the end of the well, I dug it again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I will forever fall. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝With my eyes blinded by the blinding sky, I'm in your arms</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">I was attracted to your music</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">And I fell right into it❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">- oh my God, (g)-idle.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Set me free.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝ </span>
    <span class="s2">There was fire in my heart</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> Why are there only ashes left now?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Time should be the cure</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">But over time I get weak</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Sad pain becomes numb ❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> - gashina, sunmi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I saw the "angels" drag Shuhua by the arms. She screamed and screamed, silently begged me for help, but I could only watch. They threw her out of the sky, just as it was ordered. She was a sinner. She tasted the forbidden fruit, and now she is paying the price. I could hear her agonized cries of pain as her wings were burned with blazing fire. I could see the fear and terror on her face when she was brutally thrown out of Heaven. I could see it all, but I couldn't do anything. My legs, my arms, and no part of my body moved.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Is there a problem, Soojin?” </span>
  <span class="s3">She</span>
  <span class="s2"> asked, in an intimidating way. I swallowed and lowered my head.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“No, Almighty," I reply, and I see Her nod, satisfied. And then, She left, going to Her big room.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I sat on the floor of the great white room, and looked at the gate, the current events going on like a movie in my mind. In those old handwritten sheets, love for one another was preached. But why are we thrown out of heaven in the first attempt to love others?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I lie on the floor, and wrap myself in a warm embrace, staying in a fetal position, remembering the greatest sin ever committed by humanity: birth. If we are all susceptible to temptations since we came into the world, our birth itself was already a sin, which will generate others? It is the no ending sinful cycle, passed from generation to generation through blood over time?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I get up, therefore, when one of the angels who threw Shuhua brutally out of heaven enters the room.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“She's calling you," he said, and I nodded, and then he left.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">With my heart beating wildly, I walked through the huge corridors towards Her room. Why would She call me? Unless . . . No, I can't even consider this possibility. I mean, I prefer not to consider this possibility. If She knows, it will be my downfall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">For the second time in the day, I wrap my arms around my body, warding off thoughts that pleaded with someone else's arms instead of mine. I looked out the big window, and saw a shadow in the middle of several people, dancing in the air as if it floated over the happiness that was evident on her face. And the people around . . . were loving it. They looked happy just as the floating person was. For a moment, my mind made a comparison with Her: the adoration we paid her seemed like an obligation. However, those people seemed happy to do such an act, making me feel tempted.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">And then, as if she sensed my presence through my burning eyes, the figure turned its face in my direction, and I could see her face. She had an angelic appearance, but she did not look like the other angels; she wore red and black, and her look seemed to want to get inside me and explore all of my insides. And then she smiled, and her lips moved in a whisper that reached my ears, repeating:</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s3"> I know what you did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s3"> I know what you did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s3"> I know what you did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s3"> I know what you did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I felt my body stiffen in an absurd tension, causing my arms to fall beside my body. My lips trembled, and I said, “What do you know?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Her mouth twisted into a smile that made my entire body shudder with fear. She said nothing more and then disappeared. With a confused mind, I retraced my steps to Her room, and I realized that here, I would always be trapped by the being that I created for myself. I am not being myself, but what is expected of me. That wonderful sky holds me to Her, and now I am Her prisoner.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I need to be set free.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> ❝ Help me, help me</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> I feel breathless, I feel</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> Set me free, set me free</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> As if I was melting, so sick ❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> - oh my God, (g)i-dle.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>4. Fall into your arms.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝ </span>
    <span class="s2">Your eyes give me an answer</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I'm just sighing like I'm sorry</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">This is how it collapses</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I'm falling apart</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I'll stop time with you</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">But I don't see the future that I drew</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Everything breaks like a dream</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">It's all broken</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Darkness, bruises on my heart</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">If you look at the day my tears fell</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Are you leaving? Am I leaving you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I filled your heart I love</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I think I will die</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Are you leaving? Am I leaving you? ❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> - say no, (g) -idle.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I continue to fall into the abyss of the unknown. I feel the slow tossing of my hair and I smell the smoke, making me touch it a few times. Finally, I feel my back come in contact with something hard. The floor. Did I stop falling? I saw that I had fallen into something like a puddle of reddish mud. I closed my eyes, and tried to expel the thoughts about Soojin that came to my head.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She made me feel like the most beautiful of angels. And then, while I thought she was dipping me in a perfume of violets, I was dipping into the moldy sand, being sucked into it. And then, she dropped me. Alone. She has the name of an angel, and a sinful soul.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Is love a selfish feeling? I mean, self-love. Would preferring to save your own skin than someone else's, even if you made mistakes together with they, is it a sin?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">And to love and desire her, even though I have fallen alone, is it another sin? I suppose so, but I will not be able to stop sinning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I look at my arms, and I notice the scars that were in my arms from having been trapped in a chain of barbed wire for several years restricting me to that place and, every time I tried something different, the wire went into my skin, cutting it off. Without any pity, making my (non) pure blood drip on the floor like a leak. I was imprisoned to an angel model who should be, even if that wasn't me. I was placed by Her, the being who was supposed to save us, but imprisons us to herself. She built a fake sky and all of Her idea and mythology, because the only thing that takes me to heaven is not </span>
  <span class="s3">here</span>
  <span class="s2">.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I don't know why she preaches love so much, when she imprisons her own daughter in a barbed wire web. I don't know why she preaches love so much, if she tells me how I should be. I don't know why she preaches love so much, if she expels me from her home for loving someone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">But this someone I love so much, is still there, like a puppet, following her orders. I think I am more prey to royalty and security than to be loved. She treated me like a delicate flower when we were together; in front of the others, I'm a cactus, who needs to stay as far away from her as possible because she doesn't want to risk cutting herself. But the irony is that she is the cactus, and I already cut myself off just thinking about her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She is the spindle of the distaff that wanted to prick my finger. But when I did, I was adorned by it and now I have been discarded.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I should stay away. But then she calls me and I'm on my way. I can't stop, it hurts me. But then she makes me want to stick around. I know that I am doomed. Well, yes, I will regret it. It is harmful to my health, but I will never leave. Maybe I'm crazy, but I need it, I want it, I have to have it. It may be poison, but it sure tastes like honey.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Again and again, I told myself that I needed to let go. Then I fall right back into her arms. Again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝ </span>
    <span class="s2">Nothing can take me away from your embrace</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I'm not going anywhere</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Here we go again, I hear the sound of pain</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Flowing slowly through my veins ❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> - oh my God, (g)i-dle.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>5. Ab-Imo Pectore.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝ </span>
    <span class="s2">Something always brings me back to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">It never takes too long</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">No matter what I say or do</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I’ll still feel you here ‘till the moment I’m gone ❞</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> - gravity, sarah bareilles.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Gravity pulls me down, taking all "false happiness" with me - and that gravity is Shuhua. Why do I have to be like this? Why can't I just forget about it? She's not here, right? Why can't my brain be convinced of that?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Whenever I try to think of something, my thoughts cheat me and hammer back on Shuhua. Why can't I get her out of my head?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I take a deep breath, trying to take those thoughts out of my head, and open the door to the great hall where the Almighty, or better known as Her, stood. The love preacher, who crucifies you upside down, being pleasured by hammering the screws in your hand by herself. And she hammers until the last inch of your skin is torn, while feeding on your cries of pain, while saying, “You have sinned."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The wings, the angelic symbols, are burned with burning fire from the sword that forbade Adam and Eve to return to the garden of Eden, upon her permission and demand. It never happened to me; after all, I am one of her right arms, but I have heard several agonized screams as each white piece of the wing turned to gray and then cut them off his body, leaving huge scars that would never be healed: on your skin, and in your soul.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">So, where is all the love preached? Is it only valid to a certain extent? Or did it never actually existed, was it just an invented word, with a meaning totally alien to reality?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I'm glad you're here," She said. I could see that she wore her usual clothes: a long white dress, her white wings standing like statues behind her body, her white dermis with nothing on top, as she says, "being natural". But, the real makeup we wear is our own skin.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I'm here, Almighty," I say, bowing. Soon I look up, and I see her calm features, which brings me some relief. I clear my throat discreetly, then ask, “Do you need anything?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Actually, I needed to ask you something . . . “ She said, rising from her throne, walking over to me, saying each word without taking her intense black eyes from me, “You know, I heard conversations, whispers, about some . . . traitor among us, so to speak.” She stops right in front of me, her face inches from mine. I concentrate on my breathing, trying not to make her gasp because of nervousness, and she smiles, and asks, suggestively, “Do you know anything about that?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“No, Your Highness,” I say quietly, with my head down. Her icy fingers hold my chin brutally, and she forces me to look her in the eye. Her big nails press against my skin, causing me discomfort, but she doesn't seem to notice. Well, if she notices, she doesn't care.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Don't lie to me, Soojin,” she scolded, bravely. “Do you know something?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I don't know anything, I'm sorry," I said, surprised by the firmness of my tone. She looks at me suspiciously for a few seconds, but then she walks away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Right. If you know something, don't hesitate to tell me. Are we clear?” I nod, and she dismisses me. I leave the room and close the door, letting a sigh of relief come out of my mouth. When I started walking towards the garden to get some fresh air, I feel a look burning on my back, and I see a shadow on the floor, making me turn abruptly. I look at the figure in front of me, frowning. I had never seen her before. In fact, for I would certainly remember it; she had blond hair, pale skin and wore a dress. Her lips contained a red color that reminded me of the color of blood. I frowned. Nobody would wear black here. So who, after all, was she?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Who are you?” I question.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“You have lost your beloved one, haven’t you?” she asked, totally ignoring my previous question. Unlike the Almighty's eyes, hers were calm, kind. Her mouth pronounced the words in the same calm way and her voice was one of the sweetest I have ever heard in my life.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“How do you know?” My question seemed more like an accusation, as if it were a crime for her to know. After all, it was; if she knew, who else could know? The secret of a gossip is not an act in itself, but the person who knows about it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I know things," she said, approaching slowly, her heels making noise with every step she took. “Do you want to have her back?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“That's not possible. She was...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Banned from heaven?” she interrupts me and I nodded. “Please . . . As if being banished from heaven was a big deal.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Who are you?” I asked again, and saw her smile, but not a sweet smile like her voice or her eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I am your dear Shuhua's last salvation," she said, and I opened my eyes wide.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> “How do you . . . ?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“I said, I know things.” She touched my face, her soft finger caressing my cheek, but I can't move me; Iwas in shock, I didn't know what to do. “I can let her be free. I can do this.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“How?” I asked, doubting her "capacity". Even Lucifer, who worked so hard on his plan, was unable to defeat Her. How could this woman in black do it?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Do you think she is the only powerful one in this universe?” She shook her head, as if I had answered it. “Certainly, I can give you what you want. Freedom to love each other. Aren't you each other in love so much?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, but I can't . . . “</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Shhh," she says, placing her index finger on my lips. “Do not let your dominated mind speak, but your passionate heart.” She approached my ear, and then whispered, “Ab-Imo Pectore.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">And then, she got out of there, and I found myself in shock, standing in the middle of the hall.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">❝ </span>
    <span class="s2">Ab-Imo Pectore: from the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of my soul.❞</span>
  </em>
</p>
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